If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think your dad took our porno
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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