you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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