What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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