I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize