I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize