Please, let me fuck your mom
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
