I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
