He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
