i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
