It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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