I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
