i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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