I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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