something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
