It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
