The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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