I'm passing your future prison.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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