Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You pole danced in your parka.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
