We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
