So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
