idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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