Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize