I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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