My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
