yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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