Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize