you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
