Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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