Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
