Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
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we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
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Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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