He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
