It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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