I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
