no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
