did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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