I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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