At least make sure they are 18
Why
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
