So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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