There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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