It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize