and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
