Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
