somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
