He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
