Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
