My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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