Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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