Apparently you make a good broom.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
