gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
