Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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