so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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