Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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