How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize