hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
