R you on birth control?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.