Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.