omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
a bad idea.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure