Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
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I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.