So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?