"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case