Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila