Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hippo gnu deer
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
