Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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