I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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