3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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