sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
