that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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